reminice

I left my poetry in a  drawer
long ago
 the drawer was better made than the poems
 but time has broken it

life goes on

Finances are in total  chaos  Living by the rules of abundance  has always been a challenge   I had to make a choice between paying the credit card bills and getting food  and maybe a grocrey or two. so now I have to spend large blocks of time talking to collection agents repeating the   complex events of the last year or so over and over No I don't have family who can help  no I do not have savings or property that can be sold  My parents are dead  My adult children have  special needs and are a lot younger than people presume as I had my last 2 around my 40s everybody has health issues . yada, yada There is little to no equity in the house  So why as a "spiritual " person do I still have these issues ? Perhaps because there have been times when I did not take charge of my life and family expenses when I should have. perhaps because abundance  means something different to the universe  I should say that I have rarely used credit cards the huge charges    were made by a family member

All kinds of strange soft apocalyptic stories have been coming my way in the last few days  including two free chapters of "Soft Apocalypse ", a novella called Space Junque,  and an illustrated  book free on the kindle .  Our thoughts  collectively do create /influence reality  and the reality streams we ride on. The current economy  political and cultural upheaval  and my own families financial, health and  other issues are such that they might draw my thoughts and attention to such stories.  Other people tell me that  have visions of overturned cars and   wandering mobs of scavengers  etc. That is not the  future we would ever wish to create and so far these events have not happened.  Why is it usually easier to picture unhappy outcomes , disaster and unease  than it is to clearly visualize positive , joyous ones?

Muy Muzzy

It does not look like I am ever going to be much of a blogger. I used to write for about two hours a day but have been inactive for most of the past decade. I've been working lately on refreshing my energy work and  crystal healing and other personal spiritual and artistic activities . I am way too addicted to Farmville.     I had perhaps reached the point where my meditation and other practices had become  habitual but seem to be returning to more  awake and awareness at least lifting from the fog of habit to notice it more often.
we had a rather cold Winter and Spring  here in the Los Angeles suburb , for the area anyway and I was hibernating  now  with Spring everyone does seem to be waking up

Yesterday we sold our ten year old  car for scrap, the engine had blown out .We need an amazing manifestation to get another car of any kind . so far we have squeezed out about 300 bucks a car that runs at all starts around 3000 so we have  a leetle gap. We live in Los Angeles County so  the public transportation is amazingly bad.
The girls college is about 16 miles away up Valley View  in a straight shot but in order to get there by bus it takes three buses  in two different county bus systems  and over 2 and a half hour and almost 4 dollars(3.90). one way. Strangely I feel optimistic about this situation

starting over

I have not been by here for a very long time . the last two years have been rather a fog of prescription medicine side effects ( for High blood pressure) and various family issues but hear I am feeling more awake than I have for a long time . whether I will begin to write again and about what if I do in as yet unknown.