life goes on

Finances are in total  chaos  Living by the rules of abundance  has always been a challenge   I had to make a choice between paying the credit card bills and getting food  and maybe a grocrey or two. so now I have to spend large blocks of time talking to collection agents repeating the   complex events of the last year or so over and over No I don't have family who can help  no I do not have savings or property that can be sold  My parents are dead  My adult children have  special needs and are a lot younger than people presume as I had my last 2 around my 40s everybody has health issues . yada, yada There is little to no equity in the house  So why as a "spiritual " person do I still have these issues ? Perhaps because there have been times when I did not take charge of my life and family expenses when I should have. perhaps because abundance  means something different to the universe  I should say that I have rarely used credit cards the huge charges    were made by a family member